I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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