I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
