what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
