Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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