So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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