he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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