No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
