I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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