Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
