I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
