You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
they're like a gay fantastic four
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
