the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
