My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
