the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Your dad touched me again.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
