How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
