Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
