i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
