if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
it's great music for shaving your balls
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
