Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
My cat gives me a boner
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
