I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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