The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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