Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
