If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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