i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
