just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
