she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
