I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize