He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
