just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
