How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
