scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
