We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize