I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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