I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just made out with a guy for $7.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
