You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
