WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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