Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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