That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
