FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize