p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
