3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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