i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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