you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
