Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
