About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he puts the penis in happiness.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
