Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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