It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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