She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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