I'm really into asian looking animals
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
