I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
