just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
