Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
