...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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