I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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