We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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