he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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