Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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