I'm going to jail i love you
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
