walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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