If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
