hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
