she smelled like a LAN party
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
