i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
