Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
