dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize