oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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